“Lost with no purpose to life”
It’s been a while since I’ve added to The Ramblings Of A Welshman, so I thought I would just give you all a life updated. A lot has happened in the past year, and so I thought we could catch up.
Firstly, 2022 was a horrible year for my health. After doing really well and losing weight, I suffered from those kidney stones. I believe that’s the point that I stopped writing in this blog. It was truly awful, and I had the most painful the months of my life. Worse still though was the aftereffects. I put a little bit of weight back on as I had stopped exercising, and the medication, as well as just comfort eating, meant I could not carry on my regime of keeping fit and healthy.
The rest of the year was just trying to recover from the kidney stone, but to be honest, even now I’m still recovering.
Christmas was excellent. We had the best Christmas we have had for many years, and the family all enjoyed. The boys of course had all that wanted and needed, and it was a great family time.
Around November, I decided that I would go into photography full time, and earn a living. A combination of tutoring, photo shoots and of course introducing the option for people to pay when they attend the Tuesday meets if they enjoy it, or feel like it gives them any satisfaction or purpose.
I introduced promoting donations to the group in January, and we had an attendance of 21, 19 and 20 people in the first three meets of the year. The first meet seen 5 people donate, the second 3 people and the third 4 people again. Of these, it was the same people for at least half the payments. It’s not like I didn’t push for this for a whole month before, and on the venue’s adverts, because I really did. It has me thinking a lot about the future of the meets.
It’s at this point I really feel lost and without a purpose. I’m enjoying photography, but I’m finding it hard, with no support in keeping earning. I find it demoralising that hardly anyone has shown any interest in donating from the group (and those couple that have, have been mostly good friends). I’m really starting to question where to go from here. The group is entering its sixth year, it’s built up a good reputation, but I question myself… Is that just because it has been free?
Away from the photography, I’m starting to get tired of a lot of things, I have personal goals I want to reach, but I just can’t get there. I think I need a job while the boys are in school, something just part time. I’ve looked and looked, but I have found nothing, so perhaps it’s time to look harder, and work around the job, instead of making excuses that I can’t do Tuesday’s.
I’m sure that it will all work out soon. I love my family, the wife, the kids, mammy and everyone, and I do have a couple of really good friends who are there for me. I just need to find “me” again.
On that note, I intend to keep regular things going on The Ramblings Of A Welshman again. It has been too long, and I’ve got a few things I want to share.
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